I am a mother of five, one here on earth, the other four never landed. I found motherhood to be simultaneously the easiest and hardest, best and worst, most gratifying and identity-destroying thing that I have ever done. I recommend it to everyone who seeks personal growth.
During my journey into motherhood, I experienced soul-destroying loss. The loss of my first, third, fourth and fifth child, the loss of my father, the loss of my previous identity, the loss of my job, the complete crumbling of my relationship and my autonomy. It left me dazed and confused. It left me completely obliterated. I didn’t know who I was. I knew I was my son’s mother, that’s all I had. That was my identity; my son was my only lifeline. It’s not how I pictured motherhood, it’s not how I pictured love, it was all completely ‘wrong’.
I was burning… Burning with love for my son. Burning with love for my body and for women’s bodies. Burning with passion and intensity… I was fucking pissed off. Pissed off with the conveyor belt factory setting of birth. I was pissed off about the lack of evidence-based practice. I was pissed off about how medical professionals treated me like a child, and predominately didn’t respect me or my choices. I was pissed off about how little support I got from anyone in the health ‘care’ profession. I was pissed off that my partner emotionally, physically and spiritually abandoned me during my first year postpartum, let’s just say I was pissed off about everything!
My anger hid a deep hurt, a deep pain, and it is from this pain that my passion was born. I want to be there to make sure that you have the self-confidence, strength, and support that you need to birth both your baby, and yourself as a new mother, in the way that you choose. I want to help you create unbreakable bonds to keep your family strong and put you in the best possible position to navigate new parenthood with your partner. I want you to feel free to make your journey your own. I want you to feel powerful. I want you to feel like the power feminine force that I know you to be.